the is of aa camera empties itselfof momentsas of facesthe implicatureis your facereflectedpastthe futureexi(s)tsin thatglancedeveloped
mask painted downi am not waitingfor hisor hisapprovalanymore(i was never waiting for a coffinprocession, as they awaitedcoffers opening, gleaming)i disregard my blood;imagine grimalkins warmingtheir crooked fingersover bubblesexplodingpunctuating their gripes:on breathing,on lifemy mother suffered.in turn, as iwhen the day comesthere will be no thanks;no Ihe will be happyto have lessshe will be happyto have her breath given backsay we carry our memories with usfind outtoo latemy suitcaseis just a largehandle on a holeexpressing your lovewith a store-boughtmask, with plasticpainted tears streakingdown does notendear me to you(your love is a fictional entity birthed into an effigyyou burn cigarette holes into)no, i willnot hugyoui feel my capacityfor stormsbattering my facesubsidinglike an unlikely predictionfor year-longgood weather***
lets goRelentless as an ocean erodingthe creases of my cliff facetidal waves of youcrash along my boundary stonesthe push and pull of blue:eddying thoughtsemotions white washi don't think the ground will keepbeneath me and i'll plungeheadfirst intothe push and pull of you(are you waiting)(are you waiting)(are you waiting for an sos on the sand?)let's go
arent said - WhenThere will not be any words when the time comes. Emotions will circle back on themselves like the snake eating its own tail: an endless cycle. Existing, not existing, consuming itself into oblivion, only to expel, excrete, create itself again. Constantly extinguishing, constantly setting alight.I let the ink melt away the words I write on my naked flesh. Lick my finger again, rub out my emotions. I wrote them; childishly hoping they would find you. Like the words I say quietly in empty rooms, in empty expanses on other continents, hoping the wind will carry my thoughts to you.I wanted to tell you, but being the coward I am, I don't know when I will. And if it will matter, then.Words lose their meaning when they aren't said. When the receiver, the reader, the listener is never in attendance. Having never been invited, they have never had a chance to RSVP the event, to ever be allowed to show up.(Meaningless: When not followed by action.)In time, you'll completely forget about me. M
daily - like waterI come back to you unwillingly it seems. Walk back down these streets I've forgotten to walk along. They say it is never easy going back. I don't agree so much; I think it's so easy that this is what makes it so hard.Where do you go on those days where all you need to do is walk? Hoping to find yourself in the brickwork of old stable buildings, do you ever look up just to see if the sky still exists, up there?Maybe it only happens to those who look too intently at their own shoes, mistaking this for politeness I wasted too many years staring at worn leather. Maybe it wasn't very polite of me to say goodbye as I did, but politenesses are always so easily forgotten, I think I just wanted to stand out a little this time.I assured you I would call every day, this became every week in practice it meant once a month if you were lucky and I remembered. I like that, luck and my memory being related. Maybe I should remember to be lucky next time.***This tea tastes the way you
home-boundi catch little insects with my fingersit makes me feel so powerfuland having become god in your eyes, also -i quit:take your sorrys with me,punch in,shuffle through turnstiles,take the line closest to the door.i speak erratic, tongue soreexplaining away thisknotted anchorhe said it was "very zen"to undo, unravel,unrelentingly -of course i cringed.having had your breath takenyou have the gallto ask forit back.
the city. Burnt outA violet tag catches my attention as the metal moves towards the city. Burnt out buildings sit comfortably silent in the fenced in wastes of grass; I wonder if anyone lives in there, knowing where all the holes are, sleeping between empty bottles and filth.People shuffle around inside themselves, volleying thoughts in tiny spaces; a child tells his mother he would rather stand. A forever exists when I close my eyes, pinch the space between my eyebrows; breathe in deep into a sigh. It's black there, confused and consoling, but then one speck appears, and another, conjuring coloured hallucinations to dance along my lids, telling me to open up again.Floodgates releasing, bodies sprawling, clustering in front of each booted step. I head for the stairs and take three each stride, hoping to exit quickly, escape the undertow. Advertising excrement greets me like a dementia patient, hoary, useless make-up, insisting I'm a naughty girl: I should visit more often. Bypassi
calypsowhite rock exploded into perfect formprimary colours washingbackthe need to stayin citiesnear peoplethe quiet is a heart beatmuted for a mother'sanguishthe skullsare notcrystalthe airis notnewbut everythingis newnow.
imagine my surpriseI canfeel myself pouring (itisn'tan excuse) anotherdoppelganger (yes,I exist everywhere) down the pipes(alltypes)again.
Adel the Bounty HunterAdel belched. She had been drinking through all of her canteens the entire day just to keep herself hydrated while she waited for the target to show up. Now that the sun was finally beginning to settle, she didn't have to feel like she was sitting inside a baking oven on high any longer. She pat her rounded stomach, which was firm and taut with fat and water both. She belched again. It felt good to let it out now and then, manners be damned to hell and back. A little mewl started to creep its way up her throat, that tickle of excitement she got whenever she was bloated or stuffed this big, but she managed to swallow it back down. Now was the time for business, not pleasure. She refused to mix the two, as one was meant to lead to the other, and nothing more.As of this moment, she sat alone on a smooth stone beside a dark desert highway. There was not a soul for miles. Cars never rode this way anymore, if many of them still rode at all. Yet she knew that the target would be passing this
Andrea's Roommate (Chapter 18) Working with a hangover was a learned skill. And, coincidentally, this was a skill that Kate did not have. So, groggily and lethargically, Kate did her job to the best of her ability- that is, very poorly. "Yeah, we've got... Uh... This many orders, so, you know... Do 'em." Was pretty much all she could mutter before sneaking into her bosses office and shutting off the lights. Sure, four beers isn't much. But for Kate, it was half a bottle of whiskey. She was in a bad place. Sneaking out on Andrea was easy enough, but she had made the basic mistake of not drinking any water or eating something, opting to go straight to work for the day. The headache had snuck up on her, and it was only by the grace of the Kitchen Gods that they didn't have a ton of work to be done. She made sure everyone knew she was in the office the second they needed her, but, and she emphasized this: "I have complete faith in you a
Cassidy Comes OutAs she and her girlfriend piled into Cassidy's car, Bonnie couldn't contain her excitement. "So this is happening? Your parents are totally fine with you bringing me home for Thanksgiving?"Cassidy winced, brushing her long red hair from her eyes. She looked straight ahead, avoiding the gleeful grin of her girlfriend, and hesitated before admitting, "They're, uh, fine with me bringing my best friend in the world home, yeah..."Bonnie's forehead wrinkled. She'd caught the emphasis, "What?"Cass blushed, embarassed, "I told them that you were my best friend and you had nowhere to go for Thanksgiving, and they said it would be okay if you came..."The reality of what Cassidy was saying hit Bonnie all at once, "You... haven't told them."Cassidy looked intently at the corner of her dasboard, "I'm not ashamed or anything, it's just this is all so new, and I just... don't really know how to tell anybody."Bonnie reached over, putting her hands onto the exposed skin of Cassidy's soft,
Andrea's Roommate (Chapter 19) The walk home was hell. Literally hell. "Literally fucking hell!" Andrea grumbled as she held her hand against her forehead, attempting to stave off the frankly outrageous wind they were having. She had tried to hangout for a bit to see Andrea, you know, to say goodbye, but the girl was so damn busy! She hadn't popped her head out in almost fifteen minutes and Andrea wasn't made of time! Well... She kinda was, but damn if the futon wasn't calling her name with it's siren song. So, despite her agonizingly overfilled belly, Andrea gathered up the gumption to march back to their apartment. Of course, gumption be damned, because it was so windy! Andrea's hand up on her face lead to the tiniest bit of her bloated belly peeking out of her formerly loose sweater, which acted as a sort of windsock, billowing up with wind and creeping up constantly, until Andrea finally had to just hold the damn thi
An Afterschool SnackThe day was progressing just like any other. I was just sitting with Anthony in the cafeteria; lunch had been going on for the last 12 or so minutes. It was only the third day of second semester, but we’d already staked our claim on a good spot. Our table was close towards the windows, away from the general din coming from the center of the hall, near the booths. It was on the opposite side of the room from the kitchen and serving lines. Yeah, there was a brief walk when you’d first enter the cafeteria, but a prime location like this was worth the sacrifice.In between bites of my cheeseburger, I was talking about the new game console I’d gotten for Christmas while Anthony munched on his sub. I could tell he was only giving me 80% attention at most. This was typical. In the years I’d known Anthony he never seemed to fail at zoning out. Anthony was about 5’11 with black, medium-length hair that he wore parted. I’d call him trim, but that’d imply
CholestriaPrincess Celestia sipped her tea daintily, the small porcelain cup being levitated by a golden aura of alicorn magic along with its saucer, brewed to what she felt was the perfect measure of taste and warmth, not too hot and not too lukewarm. With a small sigh of content she lowered it again and reclined on the royal throne of Equestria, the royal chair’s satin cushions comfortably squishing under her weight.And she definitely had a lot of weight.Celestia had always been large; being an alicorn her height was much greater than that of any other equine in the world, her sister Luna, also an alicorn, was smaller than she, although she was younger and quite possibly had to grow for another century or two. In recent years for Celestia however, the supreme ruler of the nation of Equestria had increased in bountifulness as Equestria had; acclimatising to a diet more heavily including decadent sweets and desserts to accompany the constant feasting during diplomatic meetings with both
He loves meThe sun fell down on me like soft petals gracing the ground at your feet. Like that day I picked that flower from your garden, daring your eyes as I plucked our forever.He loves me not.