do you ?

whose person did i become?



i wasnt
alone
in my
thoughts.


         (i struggle to shut out all the things that i wasnt saying)


i dream incessantly
and stare far too much at the sky


                                 (can you tell me what it says about me?)



I'm quiet when I break. And no, you wouldn't know, I could be smiling, and no, you wouldn't know. I could be laughing at your jokes and your surface weather pleasantries, and I could be breaking, and no, you wouldn't know.



There is stonework I traced, and never memorised completely, cracks I didn't step on and fingers interlaced, conversations I recall pieces of, like pieces of string humming reverberations from a can on the other side



I'm too stubborn for anyone's good. I couldn't relax into a moment... wait, I could; what I mean is, I can't?

There are ruffled edges and frayed grooves where you can lay back in comfortable silence. Where the when is where and the when is who and the who is what and the what is lips. How there can never be a why I can tell you, but I won't. I don't tell.

I'm counting millimetres on my best distressers, looping ladders to my eyes
but I can't figure out a way to unlock myself



becoming one with the theory of invisibility


your shutters flutter occasionally,
sometimes i think you may still be awake
and you dance a little,
like i never saw you do

and i realise awake is just another dream



It comes back, slowly at first, dips into too cool waters and flitters back under the shade. Feet a little wet. Walks patiently back past the trees, far away from any sand and runs. Seconds and seconds and seconds and splash. Into the deep. And we all drip in here, but you don't notice the little things so much when you're surrounded