Sta.sh
a moment strangulates itself
on a whim i let fall daisies
out of my mouth
chaining to become the crowns
of every I O U
the wall is the floor
my head is an ocean is a
lens cap is a migratory
formation i am jugular
i am heavy lidded i
am two minutes away from
this is a becoming this
is an undoing this is an
always was
and you are every last piece
of the puzzle found
swollen with rain so it never
fits again
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The title fits in perfectly, but the poem itself is (purposefully?) difficult to read and it takes a lot of effort to put the thing together. Brilliance.
Good work.
it is a snapshot, in so much as it is a snapshot of how i was feeling at the time, all rage and melancholy. the bigger picture is life, this is only a fragment of a day, one thought of many many.
"the wall is the floor
my head is an ocean is a
lens cap is a migratory
formation"
etc.
elegant and inspiring
this was just a flow on thought, typed up as was written in my notebook.
i think sometimes the best sorts of writing flow straight from head-to-page
The flow in this one seems stronger than in some of your others, which I find very interesting. As the previous poster said, the breaks really come at just the right time, and without punctuation too.
In most people, I'd be critical of the lack of convention, but with you, I'd be upset if it changed.
Keep it up.
But when I say strange I mean lovely, because both are interchangeable to me.
All in all, thank you, I quite love your comment. (:
In some ways, your writings remind me of Sylvia Plath... well of course without the suicidal motif
Your writing is SO absolutely amazing.
I might have to feature you.
And this piece is marvelous.
It's how the words flow and the break comes at the perfect time to just take your breath away.
+fav.