Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
this skin i'm in
it isn't me so much
as my toes
are my feet

my fingers are my hands
my eyes my face;
shoulders, knees
floor

and it isn't me
so much, when i smile
or cry, or fall apart
down splitting sides

it isn't me so much
these lips (that speak
for me) and i rarely invade
the privacy of my heart

but then i get lost, in
all the things that are
supposed to be (me, but
aren't), in who they are

and why (no matter
how hoarse i make her throat
with screaming after her)
she doesn't come when i call



I have I’s in the back of my hedonism.



When I finish there will be a river
Translucent and cascading



“I know you are a busy man, but just try to think of it from my point of view."
“What, in a g-string and bra?”



When I begin there will be no end
Why, she doesn’t even have a lake to swim on out to the island (it isn’t really an island, but we just say it is) with. It must be terribly sad for her, with all that grass and not a drop of water, currently.

“How exciting!”
“Yes, but there is fear for the afternoons.”
“You musn’t fear, and why are you?”
“Because night breeds a morning with the moon, and why I am, I cannot say for fear of over-exposure.”


--


this probably really should be a scrap. just incongruent randoms. hard to puzzle fit today.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkittytsukasa:
kittytsukasa Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2007  Student
Oh, but I like it. It reminds of the Bella and Edward in the book New Moon, and the part of the land and water, it's very beautiful.
Reply
:iconsaturnineguise:
saturnineguise Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2007
thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconmesmeric-revelation:
mesmeric-revelation Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2007
nonscrap. this is beautiful jumblimgs of thoughts, i think we should demand a category for that.
Reply
:iconsaturnineguise:
saturnineguise Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2007
yes!we should make so many new categories up, like ramble and blather and psychobabble. :D
you always have the best ideas, my sporkling! :spork:
Reply
:iconmesmeric-revelation:
mesmeric-revelation Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2007
hahaa psychobabbly nonsense=P

:spork:
Reply
:iconsaturnineguise:
saturnineguise Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2007
the best kind :D
Reply
:iconloveshoteyes:
LoveShotEyes Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2007  Student Writer
I love the joke in the end. No scrap. I'd threaten newspaper but you'd threaten water and we'd both be screwed then.
Reply
:iconsaturnineguise:
saturnineguise Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2007
:evillaugh: hehee i know your secret now.
Reply
:iconloveshoteyes:
LoveShotEyes Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2007  Student Writer
Ah! But I can get a cardboard roll! Ha!
Reply
:iconsaturnineguise:
saturnineguise Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2007
i can get lots and lots of water! ha-ha!
Reply
:iconladysynaesthesia:
ladysynaesthesia Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2007
I'd call it a poem that's growing on the readers.

:heart:
Reply
:iconsaturnineguise:
saturnineguise Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2007
hehe like some odd contagious fungus? i like this idea.

:heart: thank you :)
Reply
:iconsedimentary:
sedimentary Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2007
ha! i'm not alone. the revolution is here!


I have I’s in the back of my hedonism.

hehehe. you are a git. a clever git, though.
Reply
:iconsaturnineguise:
saturnineguise Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2007
hahahah silly man-boy, there is no such a thing as the revolution. (shh. damn it.)

that's the only line i like in the whole thing now.
hehe i'm proud to be a git. ahhaha that should be a shirt. i should start making these shirts and clothes i've been meaning to hmm
Reply
:iconsedimentary:
sedimentary Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2007
you should. me too.
Reply
:iconsaturnineguise:
saturnineguise Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2007
yes you should too. and i should too, all these ideas, and such a lazy lazy git.
Reply
:icondrowningbywords:
DrowningByWords Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2007  Professional Writer
wonderfully and cleverly written =)
I wouldn't scrap it
maybe a couple of little tweaks
but that said I found it riveting
Reply
:iconsaturnineguise:
saturnineguise Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2007
yeah, i might take out the dialogue at the end, it annoys me, because it's supposed to be a joke, but it doesn't fit with the rest of it at all. but i don't know.

heh and thank you :)
Reply
:icondrowningbywords:
DrowningByWords Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2007  Professional Writer
funny enough thats the part I was thinking about when I said about it needing a little tweaking
yeah I think that doesn't really need to be there or said really
btw I featured this in my latest journal =) :hug:
Reply
:iconsaturnineguise:
saturnineguise Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2007
woah thank you very much :D hope you have a great holiday!
Reply
:iconintimachine:
intimachine Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2007
scraps are something you choose to leave unfinished. a work of art is finished when the artist says it is, in my opinion. so in any case, "should be"s are relative. YOU decide if it is a scrap, or if it isn't. :)

"I have I’s in the back of my hedonism."

you my friend, have an uncanny way with words.
Reply
:iconsaturnineguise:
saturnineguise Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2007
i do suppose. but scraps are also scrappy thoughts. :)

that line was haunting me yesterday afternoon whilst walking through a car park. and thank you :)
Reply
:iconintimachine:
intimachine Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2007
eh, i guess "scraps" are merely a label to poetry, much like an "open poem". Might as well label it as, "Don't know how to categorize this because it has no set structure or conventional style to it".

in any case, i don't care. i just won't get a deviation notice if it's in scraps!
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconsaturnineguise: More from saturnineguise


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
September 5, 2007
File Size
1.2 KB
Thumb

Stats

Views
293
Favourites
8 (who?)
Comments
23
×